Group date ideas, how to talk to your parents, 

Is it LOVE or LUST?

Love waits, Lust takes

Love cares, Lust dares

Love sympathizes, Lust criticizes

Love chooses, Lust uses

Love listens, Lust positions

Love communicates, Lust manipulates

Love understands, Lust makes demands

Love is kind, Lust is blind

Love appreciates, Lust intimidates

Love accepts, Lust rejects

Love is given, Lust is driven

Love tries, Lust lies

Love talks, Lust walks

Love hears, Lust fears

Love has eyes, Lust denies

Love adores, Lust keeps score

Love is cool, Lust drools

Before you give in to lust, stop and think about how this one moment in time may affect your self, your family, your future spouse, and your future children.  Are they worth the gamble?

©Abstinence Educators' Network

Staying committed

Improving Your Odds

   1.  Avoid alcohol and drugs.  They can impare your ability to say "No."

2.  Make your values known up front.

3.  Date people your own age.

4.  Avoid unsupervised situations.

5.  Double-date or go out in groups.

6.  Date people with similar values.

7.  Keep your clothes on.  If you play with fire, you're gonna get burned.

Come Ons are a form or manipulation.  When people manipulate, it's to get what THEY want, usually without regard for the other person.  If someone really cares about you, they'll respect your decision to wait.

Smart Come Backs for Dumb Come Ons

You would if you loved me--If you loved me, you wouldn't ask.

Everybody's doing it?--How stupid do you think I am?

You don't know what you're missing--Oh, like pregnancy, disease, guilt, fear. . . NO THANKS!

Nothing bad's gonna happen--That's right, cause nothing's going to happen.

Don't worry.  I'll uses protection--Sorry, I'm not into Russian Roulette.

But, I have to have it--Show me the one obituary where someone died from NOT having sex.

Try it, you'll like it--I'm sure I will, with the person I marry.

I'm clean.  I promise--Well, I KNOW I am, and I plan to stay that way.

©Abstinence Educators' Network

For Guys Only

In today's media-driven society, you will always hear that the right car, the right clothes, the right friends, the right cologne will get you to the ultimate prize -- A fabulous sex life.  And if you are a real man, you will be having sex all the time.  And if you play by the popular sex education rules, you will be safe with condoms.

What about a counter-cultural movement that offers you 100% protection and 100% satisfaction for a life time?

The reality is that we are sexual beings, and the reality is that guys really are different from girls.  But guys and girls alike have a common desire for love and commitment.  Marriage seems like a long way off, but consider the options that could seriously jepordize your future and your ideals for a family.

1.  You could become a father now, instead of later when you're ready for it.

2.  You could suffer deeply from a broken heart that is compounded by physical bonds.

3.  How about an STD for life?

4.  Having sex could mess up your future marriage relationship.

5.  You could lose your self-respect.

6.  You could destroy a girl just for your own sexual desires.

7.  You could destroy your own reputation.

8.  It would be hard to focus on your life goals if you had to deal with any of these things.

9.  You could feel cheap and used.

10.  You could cheat yourself out of real friendships with the opposite sex.

Your actions today affect a lot of people:  you, your family, your future spouse, someone else's future spouse, and your children. 

You can operate in control of your urges and control your future, or you can operate out of your physical desires and have your future control you.

"How do I stay cool without losing a girl's respect?  I don't want to look stupid."

PLAN AHEAD

Pick your girlfriends wisely.  Find out ahead of time if they are sexually active.  If they don't share your views on remaining sexually pure until marriage, then you may find yourself in a compromising situation.

Group dates are a good, fun option that allows protection for all involved.  It's difficult to be alone and become physically intimate with lots of company. 

Be honest at all times.  Let a girl know in the beginning that your planning on saving yourself for your wife.

Stay fully clothed at all times.  It's like asking to be put right in the frying pan of temptation when someone has even one article of clothing off.

Set your limits before you even have a girlfriend.  Discuss these limits early so that you can determine how to keep your promise to yourself and to your future spouse.

Remember that if you have to find privacy to continue your actions (private touching, undressing, etc.), you are going down the wrong road.  Be in control of your commitment.

Did you know . . . .

. . . .  that there are more that 25 Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI's)?  Some of these have NO cure. 

. . . .that HPV-Human Papilloma Virus, known as genital warts is a life-long disease.  Once you get it, it's yours to keep.  It causes cervical cancer in women.  Condoms offer NO protection.

 . . . . that HIV causes AIDS and has NO cure.  Condoms fail to prevent its spread 1 out of 6 times.  Or you could play Russian Roulette.

. . . . that Chlamydia is a bacteria that can be cured, but that 80% of girls have no symptoms.  This disease could disable a woman from being able to have children.  Condoms offer little help in stopping the spread of this disease.

. . . . that Herpes is a virus that has NO cure.  It's painful and can be passed to newborn babies.  Condoms don't offer much protections here either.

Safe Sex?  You decide. . .

. . . . For pregnancy, condoms fail 1 out of 5 times.  Yet a girl can only get pregnant a few days out of each month.

. . . . For STIs, condom failure is much greater:  1.  Disease particles are a lot smaller than sperm, which is what condoms were invented to stop.  2.  Condoms only cover a small area of body parts.  STIs can be passed by skin to skin contact where condoms do not cover.  3.  STIs are present every day of every month.

. . . . Not every condom is tested for holes.  They leak and break during use.  Condoms can be damaged in extreme heat or cold and can deteriorate during transportation. 

For Girls Only. . .

Disease, broken heart, broken dreams, pregnancy. . . just a few of the ways that too many girls have discovered that Love does not equal Sex. 

You don't have to have sex to keep your boyfriend.  Self-respect offers that edge that says, "I'm worth  more than sex!"  Don't get pushed into something you don't want to do.  Don't allow your own physical desires tempt you or your boyfriend. 

Even if you really love your boyfriend, it doesn't make sex okay.  Most often, girls end up feeling used and unsatisfied, while the guy will feel at least physically fulfilled, but probably not emotionally fulfilled.

True love is about commitment.  It's about valuing the total person, not just the parts that feel good in the moment.  Consider the consequences of being sexually active outside of marriage:

1.  Getting pregnant.

2.  Broken heart that doesn't mend quickly or easily.

3.  Getting an STD.

4.  Messing up your future marriage relationship with painful memories or illnesses or infertility.

5.  Losing your self-respect.  Lowering your self-esteem.

6.  Having a relationship that is only held together by sex.

7.  Destroying your reputation.

8.  Having your future plans and life goals being laid aside.

9.  Feeling cheap or used.

10.  Denying yourself the opportunity to have real friendships with the opposite sex.

PLAN AHEAD

Choose your dates and boyfriends wisely.  Find out what his standards are.  If he doesn't share your commitment, then it will be much harder for you to stick to your commitment.

  Group dates are a good, fun option that allows protection for all involved.  It's difficult to be alone and become physically intimate with lots of company.

Be honest at all times.  Let a guy know in the beginning that your planning on saving yourself for your husband.

 Stay fully clothed at all times.  It's like asking to be put right into the frying pan of temptation when someone has even one article of clothing off.

Set your limits before you even have a boyfriend.  Discuss these limits early so that you can determine how to keep your promise to yourself and to your future spouse.

Remember that if you have to find privacy to continue your actions (private touching, undressing, etc.), you are going down the wrong road.  Be in control of your commitment.

Did you know . . . .

. . . .  that there are more that 25 Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI's)?  Some of these have NO cure. 

. . . .that HPV-Human Papilloma Virus, known as genital warts is a life-long disease.  Once you get it, it's yours to keep.  It causes cervical cancer in women.  Condoms offer NO protection.

 . . . . that HIV causes AIDS and has NO cure.  Condoms fail to prevent its spread 1 out of 6 times.  Or you could play Russian Roulette.

. . . . that Chlamydia is a bacteria that can be cured, but that 80% of girls have no symptoms.  This disease could disable a woman from being able to have children.  Condoms offer little help in stopping the spread of this disease.

. . . . that Herpes is a virus that has NO cure.  It's painful and can be passed to newborn babies.  Condoms don't offer much protections here either.

Safe Sex?  You decide. . .

. . . . For pregnancy, condoms fail 1 out of 5 times.  Yet a girl can only get pregnant a few days out of each month.

. . . . For STIs, condom failure is much greater:  1.  Disease particles are a lot smaller than sperm, which is what condoms were invented to stop.  2.  Condoms only cover a small area of body parts.  STIs can be passed by skin to skin contact where condoms do not cover.  3.  STIs are present every day of every month.

. . . . Not every condom is tested for holes.  They leak and break during use.  Condoms can be damaged in extreme heat or cold and can deteriorate during transportation. 

It's Never Too Late

If you've already been sexually active, it's NEVER too late to make a fresh start.  The choice you make today CAN make a difference in your life. 

Have you been in a relationship where "I love you" has meant "I want you"?  Do you live in fear --fear of pregnancy, fear of disease, fear of never being truly loved, fear of getting caught or found out by your parents or friends?  Have you been in a relationship that included sexual activity (not necessarily intercourse), and when that relationship ended, the pain was more than you ever thought possible?

Sex outside of marriage is a dead end.  It affects not only you and your heart, mind, and soul, but also many others.  It adds no positive affect to anything.

Choose TODAY to end the fear and the hurt, and begin traveling on a road that is full of positive and healthy actions that build your future and your dreams.

-Leave sexual relationships

-forgive yourself for bad sexual decisions

-make new friends who share your choice

-raise the standard of people you date

-create positive, reachable goals

-let close friends know about your new commitment

-stay away from settings that provoke sexual encounters

-use self-control

-face the risks to your health and future by seeing a doctor or counselor