Practical Help 

Be a role model.    Parents need to openly demonstrate love and affection for each other.  Single parents need help from others.  The male role model is vital!






Protect your parent-child relationship. Be     approachable.  Ask for your child's opinions.  Kids learn by talking.  LISTEN before your speak.  If it is hard from them to talk, ask them to write a letter to you.  Use proper language and be factual.  Humor helps and is appreciated.  Let them know that you are not an authority on the subject, but that your love them more than anyone else.  If you don't know an answer, tell them so and get back to them later with the right information or find the answer together. 

Keep the family's standards high.

Provide emotional intimacy for your child.  If a teen is going to say "no" to sex, they need another love connection.  Give your children lots of affection, attention, and affirmation.  Praise them readily for their wise decisions.  Make your home a refuge.
Above all, believe in your child. Help your child CLAIM their reason for saving sex.
Help kids discern what they learn!    Teach them how to understand what they see in the media by asking questions.  What are all the consequences the character may face?  How could the character have made better decisions?  Discuss how teens erroneously think sex will solve their problems.

Use visuals and stories.

Help your child set reachable goals and to establish a long-term goal in life.

Give your child ideas on how to "draw the line."    Discuss the different steps of sexual progression and the benefits for waiting.  Don't be afraid to say the word "WRONG."  You say "No" because you love them.  They should say "No" because they love themselves.  Help them choose friends and dates wisely, resist peer pressure, avoid conditional relationships, distinguish between love and infatuation, ascertain the consequences of premarital sex vs. the freedoms of abstinence.



Effective Activities

Improving the Odds  

If your child has a difficult time asking you questions, have him/her write them down.

Teach your child the HALTS concept - don't make any decisions when you are:  Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, or Sad.

Go on a retreat together.

Have your child list the qualities of a good friend and help them to seek out those kinds of friends. (Peer selection is critical)

Have your child write a short paper on their ideal marriage partner.  Read and discuss the paper together.  Their dates should have those same positive qualities.

Take your child out on a date.  Discuss how to plan a date and use proper etiquette.  Talk about reasons for dating.  Have your teen plan and execute a date for $10.

Practice saying comebacks to pressure lines.

Develop a mutually agreeable dating contract.  If they are in the boat, they won't drill any holes.

Give your child money to call for a quick ride home with NO QUESTIONS ASKED!

Have your child come in to say good- night when they arrive home.  You can see, hear, and smell how they are really doing.

Write your child notes of encouragement.


Know who they're running with:  Peer pressure can be bad - or good.  Like adults, kids want to fit in; so get to know their friends (and their parents) to know what their values are.

Keep them guessing:  While you can't watch them 24/7, you can check in from time to time.  With so many parents working, kids don't need to sneak off in the back seat of a car to get into trouble.

Know what they're filling their minds with:  Read the lyrics on their CDs and cassettes.  Watch the shows and channels they watch.  If you find something you don't like, let them know and discuss in a mutual conversation why you think that it's inappropriate.

Model appropriate behavior:  Times have changed since you were a kid, but the learning process is still the same.  Children learn what they live and live what they learn.

Be approachable:  Take them out to a special dinner or find another quiet time to discuss their thoughts and feelings about the information presented on this web site.  BE SURE TO LISTEN MORE THAN YOU TALK.

Set limits:  Kids get bored fast, so the earlier they start dating and the more you let them do, the more they will push the line.

Teach respect:  Kids need to be taught to respect themselves, and others - including members of the opposite sex.

Teach responsibility:  Prepare your child for the "real world" by showing them that their actions have consequences.

Teach decision making skills:  Have your kids practice making good choices on simple every day things.  Then point out how their decision affects not only them, but others as well.

Don't be afraid to be a parent:  Kids are not little adults.  They don't have your experience and are dependent on you for guidance.  Even though they may act tough, they may just be protecting themselves or testing you to see if you really care.